MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

As usual I am participating in the MilSpouse Fiday Fill-In. Go over to Wife of a Sailor to check out more.



This week’s questions are:


1. What are some of your ideas for staying connected with family…you know, those people we moved thousands of miles away from? submitted by Live it. Love it (or not). Write About It.




We keep in touch mostly by phone. We all have Verizon and get to talk as long as we want for free.


2. What’s the most romantic gift you have GIVEN? submitted by Painting My Canvas

Hmmm, I honestly don't know what would be the most romantic because usually our gifts are extremely practical and usually planned or hinted at lol. Oh! I just thought of one! About a month ago, Mr. I asked me if I could send him something with my perfume on it. He suggested a pillowcase. I remembered that our ACS makes pillowcases with a photo on it for soldiers and their families that are deployed. Well I got a picture of us during R&R and put it on there and sent it to him for Valentine's day and of course strayed my perfume on it for him. He absolutely loves it and sleeps with it every night.



3. Would you encourage your child, if they came to you and wanted to join the military? submitted by Perfectly Imperfect

I wouldn't encourage it nor discourage it. I would want them to research all options and decide for themselves.


4. What is your least favorite bill to pay and why? submitted by A Little of This, A Little of That

I hate paying for cable even though its only $20 a month. I just can't live without television it helps me unwind after a long day.



5. What is the proudest moment you’ve had as a military spouse? submitted by Our Okinawa Life

My husband's last homecoming ceremony. It was a loooong 15 month deployment and we had gotten married during R&R. I had never been to any military anything before that day. I was so overwhelmed by all the signs, and people, and being on a military post in a hanger. When I saw Mr. I walk in with his unit my breath was taken away. I cannot wait for this deployment's homecoming ceremony!

ABC's of Me!

I'm linking up with Gris over @ A Little Piece of My World. I figured this would be a great way for everyone to learn a little bit more about me.

{a} age: I'm 24

{b} bed size: Queen

{c} chore you hate: Cleaning the tub, it is such a pain and it grosses me out.

{d} dogs: Yep, I have one dog. Isn't he cute?

{e} essential start to your day: COFFEE!!!!

I have this bad boy at home. I need a latte to start my day or I'm a witch.

{f} favorite color: Black

{g} gold or silver: White gold

{h} height: 5'10"

{i} instruments you play: I don't play any instruments but Mr. I is an awesome guitar and bass player. We have about four guitars and one bass in our home and Mr. I has a bass over in Afghanistan with him. He wants to teach me when he comes home, I agreed. Hopefully I'll be jammin' with him soon :)

{j} job title: Student, Volunteer, and Independent Contractor

{k} kids: Not yet, but definitely in the next couple years. I have baby fever like crazy though.

{l} live: I currently live in Central Virginia.

{m} mom's name: Rhonda :)

{n} nicknames: Jess, Sweetheart, Sunshine, Babe, Mrs. I

{o} overnight hospital stays: Hmmm, I don't think I've actually stayed overnight in a hospital before. Well, besides after I was born, does that count?

{p} pet peeves: People who talk crap about FRGs but have never attended more than one meeting. People who are late, especially those who are consistantly late.

{q} quote (yeah, I altered it, shhhh): "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

I love this quote because Precalculus has been kicking my ass this semester and when I read this is makes me know I'm not stupid, it's just not my expertise. That's for sure!

 

{r} right- or left-handed: I'm a righty. Mr. I is a lefty.

{s} siblings: One sister. She's five years older and we're like night and day.

{t} time you wake up: Usually somewhere around 6:00am-7:30am. I like waking up early.

{u} underwear: Uhhh, what exactly are you asking here? Yes, I wear underwear...

{v} vegetables you dislike: FENNEL!!! It makes me want to gag. \

Ha! I think I need this!

{w} what makes you run late: I'm pretty much never late ((knock on wood)). If I am its usually caused by traffic associated with a car accident or construction I didn't know about.

{x} x-rays you've had: I've gotten my upper body X-rayed when I swollowed a toothpick lol! I've also had my hand x-rayed when they thought I might have fractured it. I think that's it...

{y} yummy food you make: Everyone raves about my spinach artichoke dip, and my mexican tamale casserole. My husband pretty much raves about everything I make :)

{z} zoo - favorite animal: Giraffes. Here at the Richmond Zoo they let you feed them by hand without any extra cost! I thought that was so cool because growing up in San Diego, the SD Zoo is world renowned and they will charge you an arm and a leg for something like that.

Day 5 of 30 Day Challenge: Song for Your Mood

With this deployment almost coming to an end (don't get too excited we still have awhile to go), I have been reflecting on what this deployment has brought us: the good, the bad and the ugly. 

There have been causalities.

There have been injuries.

There have been ambushes.

There have been awards.

There have been promotions.

There was R&R.

Everyday, I am more and more amazed by my husband's bravery, dedication and selflessness.

Whether he is home every night for dinner or 8,000 miles away I fall more in love with him everyday.

The song I chose is Marry Me by Train

This song warms my heart.

"Promise me you'll always be

Happy by my side

I promise to sing to you

When all the music dies"

Day 3 of 30 Day Challenge: My First Love

My first love was Mr. I. Sure I liked guys, but I was never in a relationship with someone. That’s right everybody I never had a boyfriend before I was with Mr. I! I know, I’m some kind of freak but that’s alright I ended with Mr. I, so if I have to be some kind of freak to end up with Mr. I than I don’t want to be normal :)

Mr. I and I “met” when we were 15 years old. We met online that is. We were both into writing poetry and short stories and met by posting on the same website. There was a chat room on this site and one night we started talking and eventually we moved the conversation to instant messages. We would talk almost every day and this went on for about a year. Eventually “real life” got in the way and we stopped talking and lost contact with each other.


Fast forward three years later, I was 19 and Mr. I was 18 (I’m 6 months older :)). At the time I was working in two coffee shops/internet cafes. One day while at work I was checking my email and came across a new message saying I had a new message on the site that Mr. I and I met on. I thought that was weird since I hadn’t been there in about three years. I clicked and checked the message…it was Mr. I! He had forgotten my email address, so he figured the best way to get a hold of me would be on the site.

Well it worked! We wrote emails back and forth for about a week and then I gave him my phone number. We literally talked for six hours straight during our first phone conversation. We began talking everyday and eventually I ran up a $1200 phone bill. I’m not kidding. Twelve. Hundred. Dollars.

Anyway, that was around the same time Mr. I told me he was thinking of joining the Army. My reaction? DON’T DO IT!!! And that’s exactly what I told him. He was jobless, living with a friend and had already signed up at the local college but he wasn’t happy with the way his life was going. By that point we had gotten really close and I told him to move to California and to come live with me! He said he wanted to be the best man he could, be able to provide for his family and he wanted to serve his country, so against my wishes he joined. I wasn’t mad but I was concerned, I mean it is dangerous! A few weeks later, he left for basic training. It was difficult for both of us, but we made it through and we came out the other side stronger.

Mr. I promised me he’d come visit me in San Diego after he graduated. He kept his promise and in December 2005, he flew out to San Diego. We made a promise to each other that no matter what when we first met face to face we’d kiss each other. So, when I walked into the airport I was so nervous my knees were shaking! I knew his flight had just landed and I was searching all over for this 6’5” soldier. I swear it was like a movie, the crowd parted and there he was…ACUs, huge green bag and all. He walked up to me, I smiled (I think I might have said hi), and he pulled me close and kissed me. In that moment the world just melted away and it was just him and I. I had never felt anything like that before. I knew I loved this man, but actually seeing him there and feeling his lips against mine, I knew this was more than words could explain. Everything just felt right.

We spent the next four days and nights laughing, joking and me showing him around San Diego. I had to work the next morning (6am-12pm) because, well, I needed to in order to pay rent. So, I went to work and came back and there was a sign on my apartment door. It said, “When you get home knock before entering.” What the hell? So, I knocked. He said, “Hold on…” all frantic. I heard things moving around and his feet running across the floor. I began giggling to myself. He unlocks and opens the door with a big grin on his face. Candles are lit, a huge round table was in the middle of my apartment (I lived in a studio…I didn’t own a kitchen table! There was no room for one) with a dozen long stem roses, romantic music was playing in the background, the lights were dimmed and the aroma of food cooking was enticing. I was shocked! It was amazing :) He made me a wonderful meal and while we were talking and eating I noticed something was sticking out of the roses. It was a dark green stick and I poked it.

Mr. I said “don’t do that” I laughed, “why not?” I poked it again.

“Because we need to have dessert!” he said standing up and rushing to the kitchen.

“Oooookay,” I said thinking he was crazy but we had dessert and I thanked him for such a fabulous meal.

He said it wasn’t over yet and stood up. At this point I was stuffed and couldn’t eat anything else if I had wanted. He reached into the flowers and that stick I poked moved out of the flowers. It was a rose shaped ring box. He got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him (I know he said other stuff before the actual question but I don’t remember any of it because I was so shocked). I said yes!

About an hour later, I had a sense of fear rush over me when things started settling in. I am 19 years old! I just met this guy in person for the first time 4 days ago! I love him but what do I know about love?! This is too much too soon! He could sense something was wrong and I wanted to express everything I was worried about but instead I told him I couldn’t marry him and actually broke up with him. Looking back I don’t know why I broke up with him I just blame it on fear! He was heartbroken and left the apartment. He was gone for hours! I was worried sick because he didn’t know the area that well. He finally came back and pretty much didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night. It was awkward to say the least. The next day we kind of made amends but things were still off. I was questioning my reaction but I figured I shouldn’t press the issue.

The next day he left and reported to AIT. I went back to my apartment and found the rose ring box sitting on my desk. Inside was a note that said, “Jessica, Keep this. I’ll always be around. My letters will never stop. And I won’t quit loving you. Mr. I”*I immediately knew I had made the wrong choice. I wanted him back and I wanted to be engaged to this man. How did I manage to ruin this whole thing?!

I called him and left messages but Mr. I didn’t pick up for the first week or two. I don’t blame him but eventually he did and I apologized over and over again. Quickly, our relationship went back to where it was before the fiasco. I went to visit him in Kansas when he had to do his hometown recruiting. And after that trip was done, he reported to his first duty station in Hawaii.

A couple months after arriving at his duty station Mr. I was told he would be deploying to Iraq. I had to see him before he left, so we agreed to meet in Kansas, so he could also see his family at the same time. We had been in Kansas for a few days and Fourth of July was here. The fireworks are shot off over the river, so Mr. I headed down to the river where the whole city is basically there. As soon as the fireworks started Mr. I leaned over and asked, “Will you marry me?” I had the biggest smile on my face and shrieked “YES!!!!”

Mr. I left for Iraq less than a month later. We agreed to get married during R&R and I planned a wedding in less than six months. Everything was perfect and he showed up on time! Thank you Army! We got married 1/4/2007. Our wedding was perfect. We had about 50 people and we got married in a chapel at a resort in San Diego. We had a penthouse reception (just our style) with light hor d’oeuvres and lots of champagne ;) Our cake was beautiful, my dress was beautiful, and everything was just perfect I wouldn’t change a thing :) We never had a honeymoon because there was no time. He left a couple days after our wedding and I did not see him again for another nine months (he was extended three months before he was supposed to come home for a total of a 15 month deployment). I moved to Hawaii the day before he came home and the rest is history.





*This note was dated 1/1/06. Mr. I left 1/1/2011 from R&R. I went to double check the note to ensure I got the exact words. I started balling when I noticed it was dated on the first. Also, the note said “Good Morning Sunshine!” across the top of the paper. To this day Mr. I still says, “Good Morning Sunshine” to me. I immediately broke into tears when I read the note. I also kept the ring box :)

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

I know, I know, I'm suppose to be doing my 30 Day Challenge but don't worry I'm working on it. In the mean time I am doing the MilSpouse Friday Fill-In! Thanks Wife of a Sailor!

This week's questions are:



1. During military separations (whether short or long) how do you keep yourself positive and motivated? submitted by Married/Single Parent



My first tool of motivation is the Donut of Misery. The name is not pleasant but the concept is. It is an excel spreadsheet that calculates the percentage of the deployment you have completed and the percentage until you reach the end of the deployment. It also shows the days, weeks, minutes, seconds etc. I love it because everytime it moves a percentage point I get so excited! It's a nice way to see the progress you've both made.


2. What is your favorite concert you have ever been to? submitted by Young but Not (Completely) Dumb



My favorite concert was when Mr. I and I went to see the band Heart perform in Virginia Beach. It was AWESOME! They sounded even better in person. One of my favorite memories with Mr. I.


3. What do you miss most about your “hometown”? submitted by A Florida Girl and Her Soldier



FOOD! I'm a total foodie but I didn't realize how much I would miss the taste of my hometown. I miss the delicious Mexican food, tofu sandwiches at Whole Foods (we have Whole Foods here but they don't make the sandwich here :( ), protein style cheese burger from In-N-Out, and Yogurt Mill (I don't know why but frozen yogurt is non-exsistant in central Virginia. I also miss the HUGE farmer's markets.


4. If you could run in any race, which charity would you choose to support? submitted by Wookie & Co.



If I had to choose one charity it would be the Wounded Warrior Project. These soldiers and their families sacrifice so much, they deserve all the support in the world.


5. You find out Willy Wonka is your father, what 3 course meal do you INSIST he create in that stick of gum? submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench



First of all, if Willy Wonka is my father...there is a lot of explaining someone has to do. BUT back to the question. My appetizer would be esgargot in garlic butter served with gluten free bread. My main course would be a whole Maine lobster with a side of crab legs and clarified butter. My final course would be banana ice cream with gluten free brownies mixed in. Mmmmm.

Silence and New Neighbors

One thing (of many) that I hate about my husband being deployed is the silence in our home. When he’s home, he is constantly cracking jokes and making me laugh until my stomach hurts. He also keeps a guitar in almost every area of our house. When he has an extra minute he’ll stop, play the guitar and sing…it’s amazing. He just brings so much life into our home. This isn’t something I just noticed but it something that has been scratching away at the surface. It’s just another painful reminder that he is not here and won’t be back for awhile.


There comes a point in a deployment where you feel like you’ve suffered enough, that you just want to say, “Okay, we’ve done enough, now give me back my husband!” Yeah, I’m at that point.

In happy news, I got new neighbors! The house was only empty for about a week, and then they moved in. We kept missing each other and then today when I pulled into the driveway they were sitting outside as the movers were putting things in the garage. So, when I got out of the car I walked up in introduced myself.

I like knowing my neighbors. It builds a sense of community. I also like the friendly neighbor waving to you when you get your mail or drive past them down the street; it’s very Mr. Rodger’s Neighborhood-esque.

I met them today and they are extremely nice. The husband is in school here and they’ll be PCSing the same time we are. We agreed to hang out soon and I am excited to learn more about them; they seem like a very nice couple.

All and all, the good seems to be outweighing the bad. I just need to hang on for XX days until Mr. I comes home. We’re so close!

Day 2 of 30 Day Challenge

Explain the meaning behind your blog name. Well, this will be a short post!

I&J is simply my husband's first initial and my first initial.

For some reason it reminds me of that cheesy pick up line: If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together.